As one of six children, I saw how my parents struggled to raise us. I don’t want to bring another baby into this world
I’m a thirtysomething man who suffers from delayed ejaculation. Mine seems to be of the lifelong variety. I enjoy sex and often stay erect for an extremely long time, yet I have rarely ejaculated with another person. I have no issue doing so through masturbation. It is worth mentioning that I am very against having children. I am the third of six children and have seen my parents struggle, raising my siblings and me. I am deathly afraid of repeating the cycle and bringing a child into an uncertain world, ultimately to die. I ended a relationship two years ago, and am filled with dread at the idea of admitting this all over again. Are there any tips/treatments to help me to enjoy sex enough to ejaculate?
You seem to have diagnosed yourself with delayed ejaculation due to psychological causes. If this is correct, the answer would be to seek help from a psychologist/sex therapist. It would be wise to seek help anyway because sexual problems usually have a complex set of causes, and there is commonly a mind-body connection.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
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